Potluck Miraculously Solves Adventist Differences

SLURP, Mich. — In a groundbreaking study conducted by the Institute of Adventist Quirks and Quibbles (IAQQ), researchers have found that the vast majority of theological and lifestyle disagreements Read more […]

The Complete Guide to Adventist Extremists

Every Adventist congregation has at least one member that is super hardcore in some way. In the spirit of spotting and understanding such crusaders, here’s a handy guide to the most common Adventist Read more […]

The Adventist Guide to Dealing with Difficult Church Members: How to Love Your Neighbor Without Losing Your Mind

Have you ever wanted to run screaming from the sanctuary when Brother Grouchypants starts criticizing the pew cushions? This list won’t make him stop, but it might make you feel better as you deal Read more […]

Dos and Don’ts for Adventists – The BarelyAdventist Guide

As Adventists, it’s important to know the dos and don’ts of our faith. But let’s be real, sometimes we take ourselves a little too seriously. So, here’s the BarelyAdventist guide to the dos and Read more […]

How to Spot When an Adventist is Bragging

We Adventists like to at least appear humble. But once in a while some status signaling happens. You know an Adventist is bragging when they say any of the following: “I am constantly grateful Read more […]

Theologian Releases Bible Version That Fully Agrees With Him

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Doug Digger breathed a sigh of satisfaction from his ivory tower balcony today as he released what he called a “wrinkle-free” version of the Bible. In the run-up to the release, Read more […]

Musk Backs Out of Twitter Deal After Discovering Church Lobbies Much Better for Spreading Gossip

BOCA CHICA, Texas — Billionaire Elon Musk has backed out of his commitment to buy social media platform Twitter after discovering that a far better way to share gossip has existed for decades. “Turns Read more […]