Dos and Don’ts for Adventists – The BarelyAdventist Guide

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As Adventists, it’s important to know the dos and don’ts of our faith. But let’s be real, sometimes we take ourselves a little too seriously. So, here’s the BarelyAdventist guide to the dos and don’ts of Adventism with a humorous twist:


  1. Do observe the Sabbath: It’s the holiest day of the week, but that doesn’t mean you have to spend it in a coma. If you’re going to sleep in, at least make sure your snoring doesn’t wake the dead.
  2. Do maintain a healthy lifestyle: You know what they say, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. But we all know that apple pie is a lot more tempting. So, as an Adventist, the key is to eat the pie, but make sure there’s a slice of apple on top. Voila, healthy living!
  3. Do treat others with kindness and respect: It’s important to remember that we’re all God’s children, even that annoying church member who sings off-key every Sabbath. So, smile and nod, and pray for their vocal cords.
  4. Do study the Bible and the Spirit of Prophecy: We know it can be boring, but if you’re going to be an Adventist, you’ve got to know your stuff. Plus, it’s always good to have a few biblical verses memorized to impress your non-Adventist friends.

  1. Don’t judge others: Sure, your friend may eat meat or watch Netflix on the Sabbath, but remember, you’re not the Sabbath police. Let God do the judging, and you do the loving.
  2. Don’t engage in gossip: We all love a good juicy story, but remember, gossiping is like spreading wildfire, it can burn down your relationships. Instead, keep it positive and gossip about how good the vegan potluck was.
  3. Don’t neglect your spiritual life: It’s easy to get caught up in social media, but remember, you don’t want to be caught with your phone in hand when Jesus comes. So, put down the phone and pick up the Bible, or at least, turn on the Bible app.
  4. Don’t compromise your beliefs: Yes, it’s tempting to go along with the crowd, but remember, you’re an Adventist, not a chameleon. Stand firm in your beliefs, and if anyone questions you, just tell them it’s in the Spirit of Prophecy.
There you have it, the BarelyAdventist guide to the dos and don’ts of Adventism. Remember, being an Adventist doesn’t have to be boring, just add a little humor and apple pie to the mix.



You’ve had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.


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