Hallelujah, church! Are you tired of that newfangled “everyone is welcome” mumbo jumbo? Does the concept of “loving thy neighbor” feel…incomplete somehow? Well, fret no more, because MyWay Press presents the answer to your prayers: The 10X King James Version!
This revolutionary new translation takes all the fire and brimstone of the original KJV and infuses it with a healthy dose of 21st-century judgment. We’re talking pronouns so masculine they could sprout facial hair, and language so exclusive it would make the Pharisees blush (well, if they weren’t so busy judging everyone else to blush).
Here’s a sneak peek of what you can expect:
Matthew 7:1 – “Judge not, that ye be not judged by thine own Instagram filter.”
Galatians 3:28 – “There is neither black nor white, bond nor free, male nor female, for we are all equally righteous…as long as we subscribe to the correct theological viewpoints.”
Romans 12:18 – “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men, especially those who share your exact interpretations of scripture.”
But wait, there’s more! Order your copy of the 10X King James Version today and receive a FREE bonus pamphlet: “How to Spot a Heretic in 10 Easy Steps (Spoiler Alert: They probably use gender-neutral language).”
Remember, folks, inclusion is overrated. Pick up your copy of 10X King James Version and get ready to preach the good word…to the chosen few.
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