Doug Batchelor Defends New Hair

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GRANITE BAY, Calif. — “My new hair is not at all a religious statement,” said Amazing Facts evangelist, Doug Batchelor at a press conference today. “During my visit to Jamaica earlier this year I just decided to experiment with my hair and I discovered that I look good in dreadlocks.”

The pastor said that his dreadlocks have nothing to do with the Jamaican Rastafari movement or any other religious tradition associated with this style of hair. “I just wanted to shake things up a little,” said Batchelor. “Not only did I feel like I fit in better in Jamaica with my locks but my new look has me feeling young and invigorated.”

Stressing that many male biblical characters had long hair, Batchelor said that there was absolutely nothing wrong with trying a different look from time to time. “We Adventists tend to stick to really safe, boring looks but you know what? The world needs to see that we have a sense of humor too. If I can convey a little of that while looking like a white, Christian Bob Marley, then why not?”

Although he admitted that he has received “a little bit of pushback” from his wife and “a few thousand viewers,” Batchelor is determined to fight the good fight a little while longer. “Hey, I put my new dreadlocks on Facebook for a reason,” he said. “I am making my Facebook fans my accountability group so I don’t ditch the locks prematurely. Anything worth doing is worth doing well so you better get used to the new Pastor Doug.”

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