Problems With Adventist Journalism
Official Adventist media (magazines, websites, shows, etc) suffers from some serious problems. Here’s a list: It’s censored There are some things (like critiquing your conference president) Read more […]
Category: Adventist Publishing
GC Exec Quietly Vows to Publish Harry-like Tell-All the Second He Retires
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Wildly inspired by Prince Harry’s tell-all autobiography, General Conference VP Will Exitlit, promised himself this morning to celebrate his retirement day with the publication Read more […]
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Theologian Releases Bible Version That Fully Agrees With Him
COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Doug Digger breathed a sigh of satisfaction from his ivory tower balcony today as he released what he called a “wrinkle-free” version of the Bible. In the run-up to the release, Read more […]
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Billion-Copy Great Controversy Distribution Now Happening Via Email Due to Soaring Printing Costs
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Change of plans: ballooning inflation has meant that the printing of the billion Great Controversy copies that were supposed to be distributed across the globe, has been scrapped Read more […]
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SDA Commentary On Veggie Tales Now Available
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Seventh-day Adventist Bible Commentary series has now been extended to cover the complete Veggie Tales animated series. Apologizing that it has taken Read more […]
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Helicopter Carrying George R. Knight Diverted To GC Parking Lot
SILVER SPRING, Md. – A helicopter carrying the current administration’s least favorite church historian was diverted to the General Conference parking lot today. George R. Knight had been Read more […]
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Thunberg To GC: Stop Killing Trees To Print Quarterlies. App Is Way Better.
NEW YORK, N.Y. — Climate activist Greta Thunberg used a portion of her United Nations address this week to implore the General Conference to stop killing trees by printing Sabbath School quarterlies. The Read more […]
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Progressive Press Updates Fundamental Beliefs In “28 Optional Tips” Pamphlet
ADVENTIST WORLD — Happy Clappy Publications has announced the latest in its line of progressive Adventist titles: 28 Optional Tips. The slim, scented pamphlet downgrades each Adventist fundamental Read more […]
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Oversight Committee Formed to Monitor George Knight
SILVER SPRING, Md. — A brand new addition has been made to a list of recently formed oversight committees at the General Conference. So far, the committees cover Sabbath wading, disruptive church Read more […]
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Books with Words Banned in Michigan Conference; Book Burning Vespers Scheduled
BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — On Thursday, July 6, Seventh-day Adventist Michigan Conference President Jay Gallimore announced that all books containing words would be banned at the three Adventist Read more […]
