Wednesday, November 13, 2024

Stewardship

Church Attracts Standing Room Only Crowd After Installing Phone Chargers in Pews

In a groundbreaking move that has sent shockwaves through the Adventist community, the First Seventh-day Adventist Church of Chargewell has reported record-breaking attendance after installing phone charging ports in...

Deceased Adventist Couple, COSTCO Members, Leave Huge Quantities of Supplies to Church

When Wilbur and Agnes Stillbody passed away within a month of one another leaving their entire estate to the church, the conference trusts and...

Should You Micromanage How Your Church Spends Money?

Ever feel like you're single-handedly funding the church's new stained-glass window depicting Daniel in the lion's den (complete with surprisingly realistic fur rendering)? No?...

Underpaid Church Employee Sick of Hearing His Treasure is in Heaven

Timothy, who has faithfully served as the church's youth pastor for over a decade, is now lamenting his earthly situation and wishing for some...

Enterprising Deacon Taps Members’ Pockets With Card Reader For Offering

Harvestime, Tenn. — A couple months ago, go-getter deacon, Joshua Hudson, introduced a groundbreaking approach to boosting offering collections without the knowledge of his...

Swedish Union Ordains Greta Thunberg As Climate Change Prophet

STOCKHOLM, Sweden --- The Swedish Union ordained the young activist Greta Thunberg as a climate change prophet this morning in a ceremony attended by absolutely...

AMAZING: Amazon Launches “Before You Click We Will Answer” Delivery Service

UNITED STATES - In a truly inspired service upgrade, Amazon launched its "Before You Click We Will Answer" delivery service today. The service means that...

Thunberg To GC: Stop Killing Trees To Print Quarterlies. App Is Way Better.

NEW YORK, N.Y. --- Climate activist Greta Thunberg used a portion of her United Nations address this week to implore the General Conference to...

‘Crazy Rich Asians’ Sequel Set on Luxurious Campus of the SDA Southern Asia-Pacific Division

CAVITE, Philippines --- As the long-awaited romantic comedy, Crazy Rich Asians, wows audiences around the world with its stunning portrayal of Singapore's hot spots,...

New Adventist offering baskets reject $1 bills

SILVER SPRING, Md. --- To encourage more generous Adventist giving on Sabbath mornings, new offering plates have been designed that automatically reject $1 bills. The...

FBI investigates fake bill fraud in Adventist offering plates

WASHINGTON, D.C. --- The FBI is investigating a large case of fake bill fraud that has been discovered in the offering plates of Seventh-day...