Other Great Adventist Disappointments
1844 will likely always take 1st prize in terms of historic disappointment for Adventists but there are some present day letdowns that can also put a damper on things. Stuff like: Carob Image: Read more […]
Category: Great Disappointment
Republican Adventists Declare Second Great Disappointment
RED AMERICA – After a longed for mid-term red wave failed to materialize, Republican Adventists have likened the letdown to a “Second Great Disappointment.” “This red ripple is not at all the Read more […]
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Bad Driver’s Guardian Angel On Stress Leave
HEAVEN — After enduring several traffic close calls this week due to the horrendous driving of his 25-year-old protectee, guardian angel Passencius filed for stress leave this morning. “Brad Read more […]
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Most Segregated Institution In America Condemns Racism
The wealthiest, most powerful nation in the world is reeling from the fatal results of systemic racism. As Americans grieve the latest atrocities, the most segregated institution in the country Read more […]
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Undecorated Adventist Homes Prove Great Disappointment To Trick-Or-Treaters
WORLDWIDE — Children going trick-or-treating this year have reported “great disappointment” with Adventist homes in their neighborhoods. Many of the offending families have not bothered to Read more […]
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AV Guy Lacks Spiritual Gift Of Song Service Slide Advancement
Tone Deaf, Mich. — Joyful Noise Adventist Church members are at a loss as to what to do with their AV guy, Han Sauver, who has yet to get through a single service without forgetting to advance Read more […]
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Loma Linda Announces Degree In Last Chance Courtship
LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Loma Linda University has announced a degree in Last Chance Courtship that allows students to do nothing but walk around campus flirting with medical students for four years. Read more […]
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Security experts warn Adventists to stop using 1844 for their PIN numbers
SECURITY UPDATE SILVER SPRING, Md. — Security experts at Adventist Risk Management have warned Adventists using 1844 as their PIN number that they are exposing themselves to huge risks. “If Read more […]
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GC buys blackout drapes to avoid receiving more light
Silver Spring, Md. — A bulk order of discount blackout drapes was installed in every window of the General Conference offices today. The drapes were fitted carefully to prevent world leaders Read more […]
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Report: 99% of Adventists have permanently fractured funny bones
LOMA LINDA, Calif. — A worldwide study of Adventists has found that 99% of Adventists suffered from permanently fractured funny bones. “The fracture means that Adventists are almost never Read more […]
