10 Reactions You Get When You Say You Are Seventh-day Adventist

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1. The Cult Crusader: “Wait, Seventh-day Adventist? Isn’t that a cult?” They immediately start searching for the nearest exit, fearing you might try to indoctrinate them into your secret society of door-knocking, vegetable-worshiping heathens.

2. The Mormon Mixup: “Oh, like the Mormons?” No, Karen, we’re not the ones with the 18-year-old elders and Joseph Smith – we’re the ones that are entirely led by the elderly (if the GC is anything to go by.)

3. The Door-to-Door Dilemma: “Aren’t you the ones who come knocking on doors?” No, that’s the Jehovah’s Witnesses. We’re the ones who hide behind closed curtains when someone knocks, pretending we’re not home.

4. The Vegetarian Verdict: “So, you don’t eat meat, right?” Well, some of us do, but we also believe in the healing power of kale smoothies and quinoa bowls. It’s a delicate balance.

5. The Secret Scripture Search: “Do you have, like, another book besides the Bible?” No, we don’t have any secret scrolls or hidden holy texts. But we do have a bajillion books written by someone known as the Lesser Light.

6. The Nervous Nelly: They start fidgeting, avoiding eye contact, and sweating profusely, as if you’ve just revealed that you’re a member of a top-secret government agency. Relax, we’re just regular people who enjoy a good potluck and a rousing Bible Bowl.

7. The Salvation Snafu: “But do you believe in salvation by faith alone?” Of course, we do! We just also believe in keeping the Ten Commandments, eating a plant-based diet, and abstaining from swimming on Sabbath..

8. The Apocalypse Alarmist: “So, when do you think the world is going to end?” Well, some of our founders were brutally disappointed in the 19th century so we’ll refrain from weighing in on that but we’re sure it’s soon.

9. The Sabbath Surprise: “You don’t work on Saturdays?” Nope, we take that day off to rest, recharge, and catch up on all the napping we didn’t do during the week because we were too busy meal-prepping for the next potluck.

10. The Bewildered Bystander: They just stare at you with a blank expression, utterly confused and unable to process this new information. Don’t worry, we’re used to it. We’ll just smile politely and offer you a copy of “Steps to Christ” to help you understand.

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