Plane Full of Teetotaling Adventists Assumed to be Alcoholics

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A plane full of teetotaling Seventh-day Adventists returning from an extreme church building mission trip in the Dominican Republic was assumed to be carrying a rowdy bunch of alcoholics by the flight crew.

The confusion started when the cabin crew offered alcoholic beverages and the entire plane full of Adventists politely declined.

“I’ve never seen so many people turn down free booze,” Armstrong said, shaking his head. “We assumed the only reason that many people would refuse alcohol is if they were recovering alcoholics.”

“We should have known something was up when they kept referring to us as the Whiskey Crew,” said Sarah White, one of the passengers. “But we’re Adventists. The only high we get is from exceptionally zesty haystacks salsa.”

The misunderstanding stemmed from the fact that the passengers had perpetually rosy cheeks – a result of stuffing their faces with an assortment of vegan meat substitutes throughout the 10-day conference.

“I thought I smelled the distinct aroma of booze breath,” admitted flight attendant Jake Armstrong. “Turns out it was just a lethal combination of Big Franks, Little Debbie’s treats, and Vegelinks.”

To make matters worse, a heated dispute arose over one of the passengers’ bizarre behavior.

“This guy kept going into the bathroom every half hour,” said Armstrong. “We thought he had a drinking problem, but it turns out he was just a newbie Adventist still getting used to the Vegetarian Life.”


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