MOUNT SINAI – Adventist scholar Dr. Seymour Scriptura claims Moses not only received the Ten Commandments on Mount Sinai but also a separate set of tablets containing the 28 Fundamental Beliefs Read more […]
“Brethren, after much prayer, we have instituted a new fundamental belief: ‘Raffles Are No Longer Gambling if You Call Them “Opportunity Draws,'” announced Ufe Mista, the General Conference Director Read more […]
A recent survey conducted among Adventists has revealed a surprising trend: many members of the faith aren’t entirely sure about what they believe. Despite this uncertainty, they remain steadfastly Read more […]
BREAKING NEWS: In a groundbreaking theological discovery, a local Adventist church has unveiled a revolutionary approach to faith: ditch the doctrine, embrace the feels! Yes, you read that Read more […]
SLURP, Mich. — In a groundbreaking study conducted by the Institute of Adventist Quirks and Quibbles (IAQQ), researchers have found that the vast majority of theological and lifestyle disagreements Read more […]
After much contemplation and argument, a group of Seventh-day Adventist leaders has proposed adding 28 additional fundamental beliefs to the church’s current list of 28. Here are some of the proposed Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Major donors to the General Conference have let their appointees know it’s high time they came up with new material for the Adventist creed collection. “It’s been a Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a presentation to overwhelmed General Conference leaders this morning, Japanese organization consultant, Marie Kondo, urged the group to declutter their approach to faith. “Holding Read more […]
STOCKHOLM, Sweden – New member Anna Borttappad opened her Bible this morning, looking to brush up on doctrine. After the flurry of scripture hopping she’d gone through during her baptismal Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Adventist leaders have decided to condense the steadily-growing number of denominational fundamental beliefs to 27 in response to a push to slash budgets. “We realize Read more […]
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