New Member Can’t Find Where Jesus Lays Out 28 Fundamentals

STOCKHOLM, Sweden – New member Anna Borttappad opened her Bible this morning, looking to brush up on doctrine.

After the flurry of scripture hopping she’d gone through during her baptismal studies, Borttappad wanted to make sure she knew where to point inquiring family and friends if they wanted a summary of her new church’s beliefs.

Flipping through the gospels, Borttappad wondered if perhaps Jesus rattled off the 28 fundamentals during His sermon on the mount.

Not finding anything there, Borttappad thought Jesus may have used the 28 fundamentals as a recruitment pitch to sign up His 12 disciples. She soon realized that Jesus had not brought His copy of the fundamentals with Him as He asked people to follow Him.

Feeling frustrated, Borttappad tried randomly opening the gospels to see if the 28 fundamentals passage would miraculously appear. Sadly the creed was nowhere to be found.

Exhausted, Borttappad made a mental note to ask her pastor where to find the list of beliefs. While she was at it, she decided to ask when the Israelites were commanded to prepare Special K loaves for Sabbath.

 


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