Major Donors Confirm It’s Time For New Fundamental Belief

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Major donors to the General Conference have let their appointees know it’s high time they came up with new material for the Adventist creed collection. “It’s been a Read more […]

Fundamental Beliefs Back Down To 27 Due To Budget Cuts

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Adventist leaders have decided to condense the steadily-growing number of denominational fundamental beliefs to 27 in response to a push to slash budgets. “We realize Read more […]

Christian Bale reads 28 Fundamentals, changes first name to ‘Adventist’

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — The actor formerly known as Christian Bale has announced a change of his first name to ‘Adventist.’ The change comes after what Bale called a “fascinating read through” Read more […]