Signs Your Church Has an Apocalypse Obsession

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1. The sermon illustrations use more beasts from Revelation than stories about Jesus.

2. Instead of a children’s story, the kids get a “little horn” craft.

3. You start seeing symbolic Bible number patterns in the weekly offering totals.

4. Enterprising members have side hustles selling seed for End Times gardens.

5. Announcements include not just the next potluck, but also the GPS coordinates of the nearest wilderness bunker.

6. Instead of distributing Steps to Christ, the literature racks are full of Sunday Law books.

7. The church board spends more time studying conspiracy theories about the papacy than the Bible.

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