Amy Coney Barrett Confirmed As Fodder For Future Prophecy Seminars

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Hours ago, the US Senate confirmed Judge Amy Coney Barrett to the Supreme Court in a victory for Adventist prophecy seminars everywhere.

The 48-year-old Roman Catholic took a solemn oath to do her utmost to keep prophecy experts well-stocked with concerns about her religious views as a Supreme Court judge alongside the likely election of another Catholic, Joe Biden.

“This is a momentous day for America, for the United States constitution and prophecy PowerPoints all across this great country,” said President Donald Trump in remarks directly preceding the swearing-in ceremony. “This should play well even if prophecy seminars are confined to Zoom and Hope Channel for the near future.”

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