Trump demands to see Ted Wilson’s birth certificate

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — US President Donald Trump demanded this afternoon that Maryland-born General Conference President Ted Wilson produce his birth certificate.

Trump claimed that he did not for one minute believe that Wilson was born in the United States.

“The guy is always jetting off to questionable international locations, riling up huge crowds of foreigners,” said Trump spokesperson Ken Yan, who said he had personally heard that Wilson was “a hit in all the new countries that we want to add to our travel ban.”

Yan also added the fact that Wilson spoke French did not at all bode well.

General Conference lawyers immediately responded with a statement that Wilson was under no obligation to slow his busy international schedule of door-to-door Great Controversy distribution to prove that he was born in Takoma Park, Maryland.

The Trump administration returned fire with a tweet warning that “this isn’t the first time ‘The Donald’ has made a president produce a birth certificate.”

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    1. Ted Wilston

      BREAKING NEWS: After trying valiently to defend the Travel Ban, embattled White House spokesman Sean Spicer was fired by U.S. President Trump this evening. Spicer was then immediately hired as the new spokesman for G.C. President Ted Wilson, with a special assignment to defend the Ordination Ban. There was a prompt news release from SNL stating that Melissa McCarthy will continue to skewer Spicer as he sets out to spout “alternative facts” and illogical explanations in his new position.

  1. James Halstein

    I wish I could say that this “news story” is so ridiculous that every reader would instantly realize that it is obviously fiction masquerading as a failed attempt at humor. Unfortunately, hundreds of readers don’t understand that. They take these fables and falsehoods as true because they trust articles that sound like news and are published on a web site. Shame on you for deceiving people, even the very elect

  2. I think this Sean Spicer guy is a descendant of WA Spicer, the old time SDA church leader who was sometimes at odds with Ms. EGW. Also, a connection with Spicer College in far away India. Trump might want to change that school’s name! Just wonderin’ During the Presidential campaign, Trump did not know about SDA’s. What a shame!!

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