Worst Adventist Committees
We Adventists are big on our committees and spend a disproportionate amount of our time on them. Here are some of the ones to avoid if you can: Church Board Many an agonizing, unproductive Read more […]
Category: Compliance
Department of Witch-Hunting Established at GC
SILVER SPRING, Md. — In an effort to increase compliance across the denomination, the General Conference has established the Department of Witch-Hunting whose staff were ordered to immediately Read more […]
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Churches to Appoint Arm-Twisting Coordinator
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference has announced that Adventist congregation will each be required to appoint one of their more muscular members to the position of arm-twisting coordinator. Read more […]
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Harry and Meghan Had Enough Of Royal Compliance Committees
Wikipedia / Londisland – YouTube • CC BY 3.0 In a revealing Oprah interview, the Duchess Of Sussex and Prince Harry revealed their frustration with royal “compliance committees” that Read more […]
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Dr. Fauci: GC Compliance Committee To Enforce Mask Usage
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Dr. Anthony Stephen Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, has deployed what he called “vegetarian compliance ninjas” to enforce mask Read more […]
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Decision To Leave Burning Adventist Building Requires Quorum
ADVENTIST WORLD — An update to GC Working Policy States addresses decisions about exiting burning Adventist structures. The update requires a quorum of the committee with highest local authority Read more […]
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GC Keeps Nukes, Vows Not To Push Button
SILVER SPRING, Md. — After generating worldwide Adventist concern with a heavy-handed Annual Council decision to manufacture nuclear weapons, GC officials have recently let it slip that the Read more […]
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GC Compliance Committee Brought In To Stop Hong Kong Protests
HONG KONG – Over-stretched Hong Kong law enforcement authorities have invited a General Conference compliance committee to put a stop to pro-democracy protests that have rocked the city for weeks. Read more […]
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GC Wishes Adventists a Compliant 2019
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference released what it called a “grave greeting” this morning wishing Adventists everywhere a “Compliant 2019.” The e-card greeting linked to “helpful guidance” Read more […]
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Alarming Report: Compliance Committee Meetings Cause Global Warming
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Leading climate change scientists from top research centers worldwide have issued a joint statement warning that recently-formed General Conference compliance committees are Read more […]
