Saturday, January 18, 2025

Annual Council

Church Leader Shuts Down Discussion, Reminds Everyone He’s “The Lord’s Anointed”

In an impassioned call to delegates at a recent church leadership meeting, Ned Olsen called for everyone to cease discussion, embrace “unity” and vote conscientiously according to his views...

Conference President Aggressively Marketing Problem Pastors to Foreign Mission Fields

In an epiphany at the end of a long day of meetings last year, Troubled Waters Conference President Max Trabajo decided he’d had enough...

South England Conference Delegates Ace Surprise Quiz On Machiavelli’s ‘The Prince’

In a daring departure from the traditional agenda of hymn-singing, lining up to argue at mics and dramatically sending newly-recommended leadership names back to...

GC Commemorates Waco By Reminding Members Not To Question Its Authority

Silver Spring, MD - In commemoration of the 30th anniversary of the Waco tragedy, the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists has issued a statement...

Annual Council Features As Comedy Special On Netflix

SILVER SPRING, Md. ---- In an effort to further diversify its content, streaming giant Netflix has bought rights to the Annual Council live stream...

Annual Council To Vote By Mail-In Ballots

SILVER SPRING, Md. --- Due to COVID-19 restrictions on air travel, Annual Council will be held virtually in October. Although Zoom has worked for...

Senate To Break For Periodic Annual Council-Style Exercise During Impeachment Trial

WASHINGTON, D.C. --- As the impeachment trial gets under way in the Senate, lawmakers have opted to implement a very Adventist protocol to break...

Canadian PM Justin Trudeau Admits Ted Wilson Talked Him Into “Pioneer” Beard

PARLIAMENT HILL, Ottawa --- The world no longer needs to wonder why Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has started growing a beard. The idea for...

Members Reprimand Leaders For Not Earning Annual Council Warnings

ADVENTIST WORLD --- As division and union leaders around the world begin to report on Annual Council to their local church members, they are...

Two-Thirds Majority Of Delegates Punished With Detention For Disruptive Whispering

SILVER SPRING, Md. --- Detention time has been added to the growing list of punishments that can be assigned to Annual Council delegates. Unfortunately for...

Delegate With No Instance Of Non-Compliance To Cast First Stone Of Annual Council Reprimand

SILVER SPRING, Md. --- As Annual Council delegates ready themselves for the important duty of shaming conscientious objectors, leaders are reminded of heavenly policy...