Women's ordination
Ministry Checkpoint Foils Ordination Attempt; Women Still Run Everything for Free
Silver Spring, MD – Chaos erupted Tuesday at the newly installed Ecclesiastical Security Checkpoint when a brazen female congregant attempted to smuggle “ordination” through the metal detector.
The device exploded...
Women's ordination
Why the General Conference Has Trust Issues with Women
Somewhere between Ellen White co-founding a global movement and your local female elder getting side-eyed for leading prayer, the General Conference developed trust issues.
It’s...
North American Division
New Union Created for Anti-Vaxxers: NAD Announces PureBlood Union Conference
COLUMBIA, Md. – In a move that has raised eyebrows and lowered vaccination rates, the North American Division (NAD) of Seventh-day Adventists has unveiled...
Women's ordination
GC Slaps 49% Tithe Hike On Pro-Women’s Ordination Regions
SILVER SPRING, Md.– In a move that’s got Adventists worldwide clutching their wallets, the General Conference (GC) announced a jaw-dropping tithe hike this week,...
Women's ordination
GC Relieved Male is Back on Throne
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Despite the unfortunate fact King Charles III was crowned on Sabbath, General Conference leaders breathed a collective sigh of relief...
Women's ordination
Republicans Vow Not To Pick Speaker Until Adventists Ordain Women
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite the growing chaos surrounding Congressional Republicans’ failure to pick a Speaker of the House, representatives have flat out refused to...
Women's ordination
Women’s Ordination Debate Generates Enough Heat to Replace Fossil Fuels
ADVENTIST WORLD — Skyrocketing gas and oil prices are forcing people to look at alternative sources of energy to heat their homes.
Energy researchers say...
Women's ordination
North German Union Votes To Reignite Penpal Relationship With GC
HANNOVER, Germany - On April 25, members of the North German Union Executive Committee voted to rekindle what, quite frankly, had been a sputtering...
General Conference
GC Session Won’t Feature Seating For Women’s Ordination Fans
Due to what General Conference Session organizers termed “post-COVID space considerations” the upcoming meetings will not feature seating or yellow vote cards for supporters...
Women's ordination
GC: Sarah Thomas Commissioned, Not Ordained To Officiate Super Bowl
SILVER SPRING, Md. - This morning the General Conference addressed the status of Sarah Thomas, the first female to officiate the Super Bowl.
“While we...
Women's ordination
GC Executive Committee Letter Of Warning To Biden Over Female VP Commitment
Dear Vice President Biden,
We got the news that you are planning on choosing a female running mate.
This letter is our warning to you...