GC Relieved Male is Back on Throne
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Despite the unfortunate fact King Charles III was crowned on Sabbath, General Conference leaders breathed a collective sigh of relief to have a male on the British throne Read more […]
Tag: ordination
Republicans Vow Not To Pick Speaker Until Adventists Ordain Women
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite the growing chaos surrounding Congressional Republicans’ failure to pick a Speaker of the House, representatives have flat out refused to make their selection before Read more […]
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Women’s Ordination Debate Generates Enough Heat to Replace Fossil Fuels
ADVENTIST WORLD — Skyrocketing gas and oil prices are forcing people to look at alternative sources of energy to heat their homes. Energy researchers say Adventists are incredibly fortunate Read more […]
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GC Approves ‘Black Widow’ As Adventist-Appropriate Due To Non-Leadership Role In Avengers
Silver Spring, Md. —— In a shocking move, the General Conference has released a statement fully authorizing Adventist members to view Marvel’s Black Widow on opening weekend. “We Read more […]
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Walla Walla sells Nursing student contact info to single pastors
BREAKING NEWS COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — Citing duty to do their honest part to perpetuate the time-honored tradition of Adventist pastor/nurse marriages, Walla Walla University’s Marketing Read more […]
