Republicans Vow Not To Pick Speaker Until Adventists Ordain Women

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite the growing chaos surrounding Congressional Republicans’ failure to pick a Speaker of the House, representatives have flat out refused to make their selection before Read more […]

Women’s Ordination Debate Generates Enough Heat to Replace Fossil Fuels

ADVENTIST WORLD — Skyrocketing gas and oil prices are forcing people to look at alternative sources of energy to heat their homes. Energy researchers say Adventists are incredibly fortunate Read more […]

GC Approves ‘Black Widow’ As Adventist-Appropriate Due To Non-Leadership Role In Avengers

Silver Spring, Md. —— In a shocking move, the General Conference has released a statement fully authorizing Adventist members to view Marvel’s Black Widow on opening weekend.  “We Read more […]

Walla Walla sells Nursing student contact info to single pastors

BREAKING NEWS COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — Citing duty to do their honest part to perpetuate the time-honored tradition of Adventist pastor/nurse marriages, Walla Walla University’s Marketing Read more […]