New President Alex Bryan Promises Full Scholarships to Walla Walla Students Who Get Married By Christmas

Newly appointed Walla Walla University president Dr. Alex Bryan is wasting no time making his mark on the Adventist school. In a move that has students buzzing, Bryan announced today that WWU students Read more […]

Buttigieg Takes Heat For Being “Whiter Than Walla Walla”

SOUTH BEND, Ind. — As he rises in the polls, US presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg is struggling to appeal to black voters. After it emerged that the South Bend, Indiana mayor’s campaign Read more […]

Last two single students at Walla Walla get engaged

COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — Walla Walla University has confirmed that the final remaining single students at the university just got engaged to one another. Kristian Lentisimo got down on one Read more […]

James Comey accepts job as head of Walla Walla campus security

COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — Former FBI director James Comey has accepted a role as head of Walla Walla University’s Campus Security Department. In accepting the role, Comey cited a desire to get back Read more […]

Walla Walla University transfers operational control to Sisters of Providence

COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — In a move that Walla Walla University administrators described as “a membership transfer and not a sale,” operational control of the school is being transferred to Sisters Read more […]

Walla Walla aviation program scraps planes for balloons

COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — In a dramatic U-turn for Walla Walla University’s Aviation program, the existing fleet of planes has been sold to buy hot air balloons. Walla Walla made the decision Read more […]

Walla Walla closes after failing to reach wedding quota

COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — With tears in their eyes, administrators of Walla Walla University announced the closure of the institution today after admitting that they had not met their quota for Read more […]

Adventist man reported missing found in church committee meeting

COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — A 50-something man who was formally declared missing by his family last weekend has been found in a church committee meeting Bo Ludo sheepishly admitted to local reporters Read more […]

Walla Walla recalls single grads for fresh try at college/marriage

COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — Walla Walla University has issued a recall of all unmarried graduates of the school. Anyone in possession of a Walla Walla graduation diploma is entitled to free tuition Read more […]

Walla Walla Campus Safety furious after failing pepper spray background checks

COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — Walla Walla University’s Campus Safety officers have all failed newly-tightened federal background checks for pepper spray canister owners. The department was forced to Read more […]