John Oliver tackles women’s ordination in Adventism

NEW YORK, N.Y. — HBO’s John Oliver talked about women’s ordination within Adventism in the most recent airing of his extremely popular topical comedy show, Last Week Tonight. The British Read more […]

Vin Diesel caught speeding next to La Sierra University

RIVERSIDE, Calif. — Actor Vin Diesel of the Fast and the Furious franchise was caught speeding near the campus of La Sierra University today. The star who was gunning it along Raley Drive Read more […]

Chick-fil-A to close on Saturdays after rich Adventist invests

ATLANTA, Ga. — After a major investment in the fast food company from a wealthy Adventist, Chick-fil-A has announced that it will now close its doors on Saturdays. The popular chain is already Read more […]

Walla Walla University transfers operational control to Sisters of Providence

COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — In a move that Walla Walla University administrators described as “a membership transfer and not a sale,” operational control of the school is being transferred to Sisters Read more […]

Pope donates blood to Adventist Global Youth Day blood drive

VATICAN — Pope Francis was reportedly so impressed with today’s Adventist Global Youth Day 2017 that he donated blood to an Italian Adventist blood bank. While giving blood, the Pope said that Read more […]

In dramatic U-turn Carson accepts role as US Secretary of Energy

New York, N.Y. — Adventist former GOP candidate for president Ben Carson has accepted a position in President-Elect Donald Trump’s administration. The former neurosurgeon was confirmed as the Read more […]

Adventist Church bans organs for scaring little children

SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a controversial ruling that sent shockwaves throughout the denomination, Adventist leaders decided to remove all organs from Adventist churches because of their tendency Read more […]

Bald Adventist pastor wonders why bears aren’t devouring his critics

CRANKY CORNER, Mont. — Senior Pastor Fred Uhp of Mockingjay Lane Seventh-day Adventist Church has begun to openly complain to his staff about the lack of dangerous wildlife surrounding the church Read more […]