Local Church Bachelor Claims He is Too Pretty to Step Down as Greeter

VANITYVILLE, Calif. — Joe Shmugh has notified his local congregation’s nominating committee that there is “no way this side of eternity” he is stepping down from his “vital role” as Read more […]

Churches to Appoint Arm-Twisting Coordinator

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference has announced that Adventist congregation will each be required to appoint one of their more muscular members to the position of arm-twisting coordinator. Read more […]

Adventist Committee Sets Guinness World Record For Longest Meeting

Chatty, Mich. — Longwind SDA has at least one thing to celebrate despite the COVID craziness that has defined the last several months. The Guinness World Record organization notified the Read more […]

Slide Show: 15 greatest disappointments of Adventists

Thousands of people, some of whom had given away all of their possessions, waited expectantly for Jesus to appear on Oct. 22, 1844. When He didn’t appear, the date became known as the Great Disappointment. But out of the Great Disappointment the seeds of the Seventh-day Adventist Church sprouted. We’re a little late to the celebration (disappointing, we know ::haaaaa::) but in honor of that momentous occasion, we present a list of things that Adventists find disappointing.