COMPLAINT FOR UNAUTHORIZED USE OF TRADEMARKED PHRASE “HIGHEST AUTHORITY ON EARTH” FILED BY GC AGAINST VATICAN
Plaintiff, General Conference of over-traveled executives, brings this action against Defendant, Vatican, for trademark infringement and unfair competition, and alleges as follows:
I. The Parties
The General Conference, basically a kingdom organized under the laws of its own making with its principal place of business located in a cavernous, underlit office building in Silver Spring, Md..
Defendant [Vatican] – an independent city state with its principal place of business located in its own actual country.
II. Background
Plaintiff has been in the business of designing, manufacturing, and selling sweeping decisions under the trademark Highest Authority on Earth for well over a century. Plaintiff’s status has become somewhat recognized (among persons seeking GC employment) and frequently used to put lower divisions, unions and conferences in their proper place on contentious issues.
Defendant also claims ultimate authority, and has persisted in holding on to this self-asserted status despite the valiant efforts of the GC in the area of PowerPoint presentations featuring colorful beasts and timelines.
III. The Claim
Defendant’s claim to ultimate spiritual authority and infallibility that is confusingly similar to Plaintiff’s trademark is likely to cause adherent confusion, mistake, or deception as to the source or origin of Defendant’s claims. This use constitutes trademark infringement and is, quite frankly, super annoying.
IV. Prayer for Relief
Plaintiff respectfully requests the following relief:
a. An order enjoining Defendant, its agents, servants, employees, and all persons in active concert or participation with it, from using any mark or design that is confusingly similar to Plaintiff’s claim to being the HIGHEST AUTHORITY ON EARTH!!!
b. An order requiring Defendant to deliver up for destruction or other disposition all infringing articles, labels, tags, signs, prints, packages, molds, matrices, and other means of making such articles;
c. An award of damages, including all cool points and other benefits derived by Defendant from its infringing conduct, together with any damages sustained by Plaintiff as a result of Defendant’s wrongful conduct;
d. An award of Plaintiff’s missed potlucks due to the time-consuming nature of this amazing write-up.
e. Such other relief as the Court deems just and proper.
DATED: IMMEDIATELY
GC Global Defenders / Coffee Pot Detectors
Silver Spring, Md
(123) 666 1844
gcnotbackingdown@gc4eva.org
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