Ways to Score a Sabbath Lunch Invite

“Support the BarelyAdventist team by joining our Patreon community or leaving a PayPal tip - it means the world to us.”


Are you tired of feeling like the only Adventist without a Sabbath lunch invitation? These awkward-yet-effective  tactics are guaranteed to get you invited to the table and make you the life of the Adventist potluck party.

  1. Ask someone what their plans are for Sabbath lunch. Listen to their answer and then fall deathly silent when they ask you what you’ve got planned. For extra credit, saying you are “praying about it.”
  2. Wear a shirt with the words “Will Work (after sunset) for Sabbath Lunch” emblazoned across the front. This is sure to get some attention.
  3. Pull out a clipboard and start taking names and phone numbers of potential lunch hosts. Boldness is key here.
  4. Pretend to be lost in thought, then suddenly exclaim, “Oh, I forgot to make Sabbath lunch plans!” in a loud and concerned voice.
  5. Start discussing the joys of fasting, but add, “Of course, I wouldn’t mind if someone invited me to Sabbath lunch.”
  6. Begin sharing a story about how you once went without Sabbath lunch and how it ruined your day, while looking directly at potential hosts with pleading eyes.
  7. Bring up the topic of Sabbath lunch in a positive way, like “I love how we all come together as a community to share a meal on Sabbath after church.”
  8. Carry around a Tupperware container and say, “Oh, this? It’s just in case anyone has extra food they want to share.” Then hold it out expectantly.
  9. Finally, if all else fails, just straight-up ask someone for an invite. No shame in being direct!

Remember, the key to getting invited to Sabbath lunch is to drop awkward hints and make people feel guilty for not inviting you. Happy lunching!

 


SPONSORED LINKS

You’ve had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.

.

(Visited 265 times, 1 visits today)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *