Dwight Nelson declared missing person, last seen playing Pokémon GO

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Police officials declared Pioneer Memorial Church Senior Pastor Dwight Nelson missing this morning. The well-known Adventist evangelist was last seen playing Pokémon Read more […]

Dwight Nelson calls Donald Trump’s hair/presidential announcement “sign of the times”

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Pioneer Memorial Church Senior Pastor Dr. Dwight K Nelson launched a scathing rebuke of real estate and entertainment mogul Donald Trump’s presidential campaign announcement Read more […]

Dwight Nelson gets star on Hollywood Walk of Fame

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — In a definite first for Adventist evangelists, Dr. Dwight K. Nelson is to receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The Andrews University-based Senior Pastor of Read more […]

Dwight Nelson launches line of anti-aging creams

Berrien Springs, MI — Dr. Dwight Nelson has decided to answer the question that has been burning in the hearts of fellow pastors and parishioners alike: “Why does he never age?” The Andrews Read more […]