Sanders Unveils Plan To Double Tithe On Wealthiest Adventists

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders has unveiled plans to double tithing rates on Adventists that “can afford to wear Rolex watches as non-jewelry on Sabbath Read more […]

Instagram “Adventist” Filter Removes Jewelry

MENLO PARK, Calif. — A new “Adventist” filter released by Instagram allows church members to automatically edit out jewelry from their pictures before posting them to the platform. Instagram Read more […]

Wilson and Jackson Resolve to Wear Matching Friendship Bracelets Throughout 2019

SILVER SPRING, Md. — In what the GC is calling “the ultimate sign of bromantic, compliant UNITY,” General Conference President Ted Wilson and North American Division President Dan Jackson have Read more […]

Kylie Jenner releases line of Adventist-approved “SabbathLipstick”

LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Fast on her way to billionairedom, reality star  entrepreneur Kylie Jenner has opened yet another line in her cosmetics empire: Adventist-approved SabbathLipstick. According Read more […]

Sabbath watches at average Adventist church contain “enough gold for calf statue”

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — New data from a survey of Adventist Sabbath-keeping habits has quantified the gold content of watches members wear to church every Sabbath. The Andrews University Read more […]

Adventist Church: earrings ok if they double as timepieces

SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a dramatic reversal of its traditional anti-jewelry stance, the Seventh-day Adventist Church has released a statement declaring that earrings are acceptable attire for Read more […]

Luxury watch makers honor long-standing Adventist commitment to status symbols

BASEL, Switzerland — Baselworld, the most prestigious trade show for the international watch and jewelry industry has invited an Adventist delegation to attend its March 2016 annual event in Read more […]

Beautiful Adventist wife happy to witness to every man that notices her unadorned ring finger

MAGALIA, Calif. — Bethany Powell says hardly a week goes by without an opportunity for her to witness about her faith. Men approach the attractive 26-year-old with impressive regularity and Read more […]