Southern Promises Never to Invite Back “Gift of Singleness” Speaker

Southern Adventist University has issued a formal apology and sworn a blood oath never to invite back the misguided speaker who dared to promote the “gift of singleness” during a recent Week of Read more […]

Graduates From Adventist College 93% More Likely to Insist Their Kids Earn the Cat Honor

Berrien Springs, Mich. – A new study confirms what many have long suspected – graduates of Adventist colleges and universities are 93% more likely than other Adventist parents to insist their children Read more […]

Entire Pacific Union College Faculty Living in Van Down by the River

ANGWIN, CA – It has been revealed that the entire faculty of Pacific Union College has taken up residence in a fleet of vans parked along the Napa River, citing the increasingly exorbitant cost Read more […]

Defunded Campus Security Departments Auction Off Whistles

ADVENTIST WORLD — Freshly-defunded campus security departments at Adventist institutions worldwide are holding a joint whistle auction to inject new life into their budgets. The auction Read more […]

Andrews Seminarian Convinced He Is Predestined For Marriage

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Seasoned Andrews seminarian Amo Reterno, put a brave face on Valentines this year, certain that love was bound to come knocking in time for a pre-graduation engagement. Despite Read more […]

Southern Declares State of Emergency as Marriage Rate Dips

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Southern Adventist University has declared a State of Emergency after what administration described as a “troubling drop in marriage rates among our students.” The school’s Read more […]

Trump: Mexico’s University of Montemorelos stealing Adventist students from US

NEW YORK, N.Y. — In a tirade against Mexico’s stealing of US business, President-Elect Donald Trump added that Mexico-based University of Montemorelos was stealing Adventist students from Adventist Read more […]

Southern freshman flying to school must pay for extra bags

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Southern Adventist University freshman Demas Yado arrived at Sacramento International Airport today wondering if she had forgotten to pack anything for school. The aspiring Read more […]

By continuing to use the site, you agree to the use of cookies. more information

The cookie settings on this website are set to "allow cookies" to give you the best browsing experience possible. If you continue to use this website without changing your cookie settings or you click "Accept" below then you are consenting to this.

Close