Collegedale, Tenn. — For the first time ever, US News and World Report has ranked schools in view of their ability to provide students with “a high chance of finding a vegetarian to marry.” US Read more […]
COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. – Student behavior at Southern Adventist University improved drastically this week after news that the school was doubling the price of its fines to keep up with inflation. Eyewitnesses Read more […]
Not since his single days has Adventist business owner, Chase Lindgren, enjoyed such an uninterrupted period of flawless decision making. After his wife took off for her women’s retreat this Read more […]
Collegedale, Tenn. – Always on the forefront of Adventist student regulation, Southern Adventist University announced today it has started fining students for coffee breath. Any student accused Read more […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. – US President-Elect Joe Biden has called for immediate congressional action to cancel “crippling Southern Adventist University fine debt.” The politician said that “no Read more […]
COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Recently-surfaced Oval Office call transcripts that were declassified this morning show that President Donald Trump directed Campus Safety officers at Southern Adventist Read more […]
WASHINGTON, DC – This week, US Homeland Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen resigned her position after 16 months on the often controversial job of deploying Trump-era security tactics aimed at keeping Read more […]
COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Southern Adventist University has declared a State of Emergency after what administration described as a “troubling drop in marriage rates among our students.” The school’s Read more […]
COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. —- A press release from Southern Adventist University has announced that in order to “streamline what often turns out to be nearly simultaneous events,” the university Read more […]
COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Southern Adventist University has raised the price of students fines to keep up with inflation. All of the items on the university’s impressively comprehensive list of Read more […]
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