ANGWIN, CA – It has been revealed that the entire faculty of Pacific Union College has taken up residence in a fleet of vans parked along the Napa River, citing the increasingly exorbitant cost of living in the Angwin area on their meager professor salaries.
“Look, we love teaching at PUC, but have you seen the rent prices around here?” said Dr. Everett Hunnisickle, Professor of Theological Obfuscation. “My tandem bike isn’t going to pay for itself!”
The vans, ranging from rusted-out Econoline behemoths to sleek #VanLife Sprinters, have been strategically positioned along the riverbank to take advantage of the free parking and soothing ambient river sounds.
“At first, I was a bit skeptical about living in a van down by the river,” admitted Dr. Iona Habtohre, Chair of the Department of Remnant Potluck Studies. “But it’s actually quite pleasant! Plus, we’ve formed a lovely little van-dwelling community.”
The van residents have established a unique society, complete with a rotating chore wheel for pump-outs, a book club that only reads books written by broke Adventist authors, and a yearly tuition-free “University of Van Life” seminar series.
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