Berrien Springs, Mich. – A new study confirms what many have long suspected – graduates of Adventist colleges and universities are 93% more likely than other Adventist parents to insist their children earn the Cat Honor in Pathfinders. The results reveal a deeply-rooted drive among the Adventist-educated to push honors of questionable utility on the next generation.
“Ever since I brought home a finger painting of Garfield, my parents have been ferociously determined for me to get the Cat Honor,” said 12-year-old Billy Meowers, whose parents hold degrees from Andrews University. “We’ve had to watch all those lame cat videos, take quizzes checking if we can identify various breeds, and my dad keeps leaving a Pathfinder manual open to the Cat Honor requirements lying around. It’s crazy!”
The study by LesterKatz and MeowMeow Litturbox at Pur-rrDue University surveyed 8,000 Adventist parents on their hopes for their kids’ Pathfinder honors. A staggering 93% of respondents who attended Adventist schools indicated they would stop at nothing until their child achieved the Cat Honor, no matter how many late night prayer and nag sessions it might require.
“I can’t explain this bizarre obsession with the Cat Honor,” said Litturbox. “It’s like these Adventist alumni are dead-set to prove their $120,000 education wasn’t wasted by pushing a seemingly trivial honor that has zero career applications.”
General Conference leaders responded by reminding everyone that all Pathfinder honors are believed to “build character” in young people. Though when pressed, they admitted befuddlement over the Cat Honor’s enduring appeal among the Adventist-educated elite.
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