Parents That ‘Can’t Afford’ Adventist Schooling For Kids Drive Off In BMW

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A pair of parents who’ve been singing the “we can’t afford Adventist schooling” tune for years, were observed cruising away from church last Saturday in a sleek, brand new BMW, their new wheels glinting in the Sabbath sunlight.

As they pulled away from the curb, the only thing louder than the purr of the engine was the collective gasp of the congregation.

“Who knew the secret to affording luxury cars was not enrolling your kids in Adventist school?” sniffed an envious church member suddenly self conscious of his dusty Prius.

“Yeah, who needs Adventist education when you can have the adrenaline rush of a German-engineered ride?” quipped a father of three making a mental note to ask if the Adventist elementary school to which he sent half his monthly paycheck had a worthy student fund or any other way for him to afford juicier car payments.


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