Tom Cruise Made World Pathfinder Drill Sergeant

SILVER SPRING, Md. — This week, the General Conference Youth Department offered Tom Cruise the role of global Pathfinder drill sergeant after his scathing rebuke of staff breaking COVID-distancing rules on the set of his latest Mission Impossible film.

Cruise accepted the role immediately, saying that after decades in the film industry, he was ready for a change.

“Some might call my new job the ultimate impossible mission but if there’s one thing I do better than jumping on Oprah’s furniture, it’s whipping unsuspecting groups of young people into shape,” said Cruise.

The actor vowed to bring the full force of his personality to the new job “but none of the Scientology.”

Image: Wikipedia – Gage Skidmore • CC BY-SA 3.0

 


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One comment

  1. Richard Mills

    I say to Tom Cruise–“Bah Humbug!!” and to BarelyAdventist-Read the SDA church manual-Non members cannot take church positions. have youse guys gone mad? stop the madness now.
    Theer must a SDA military guy somewhere who is better qualified for this important position.
    Would love to see this person in action at the next Pathfinder Jamboree

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