Monday, June 23, 2025

Andrews University

Students Stage Overnight Cow Coup at Andrews University

In a stunning reversal of Andrews University’s 2019 decision to ditch its iconic dairy herd, a rogue band of Gen Z students has unleashed bovine chaos across campus. This...

Andrews’ New Automated Student Life Bot Programmed to Say ‘Just Pray About It’ to All Concerns

In a groundbreaking move to modernize student services while cutting costs, Andrews University has unveiled PRAYR-3000, an artificial intelligence chatbot programmed to handle all...

Seminarian’s Song of Solomon Pickup Lines Fail Miserably

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Despite his best efforts, seminarian Ethan Thompson has discovered that employing pickup lines straight out of the Song of Solomon...

Pioneer Memorial Church Switching Out Sermons for Memes

Berrien Springs, Mich. – Pioneer Memorial Church just dropped the hottest theological take of the year: replacing sermons with dank Christian memes. That's right, folks....

Supreme Court To Rule On Whether Loma Linda Is “More Adventist” Than Berrien Springs

WASHINGTON, D.C. --- A question that has been burning in the minds of thousands of Adventists for decades may finally be answered this year:...

Andrews University: Watching Animal Planet Counts for Worship Credit

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — In a stunning announcement, Andrews University has revealed that watching Animal Planet now counts for worship credit. The new rule states...

Things to Know About Andrews University President-Elect John Wesley Taylor V

Image: Andrew’s University  On March 7, 2023 the Andrews Board of trustees voted John Wesley Taylor V to serve as the seventh president of Andrews...

Signs You Went to Andrews

You know you went to Andrews University when… You think nothing of walking through a blizzard to get to dinner Nobody will defend southwest Michigan's weather....

Dwight Nelson Takes Over As ‘Jeopardy!’ Host

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. —- Pioneer Memorial Church Senior Pastor Dwight Nelson, confirmed today that he would be taking on a “sideline” as host of...

Bad Boys Spinoff To Feature Will Smith As Badventist

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. --- Fresh off the release of Bad Boys For Life, Hollywood legend Will Smith has announced a Bad Boys franchise spinoff titled...

Sam’s Chicken Earns Andrews Cafeteria A Michelin Star

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. --- In an absolute first for an Adventist institution, the Andrews University cafeteria has been awarded a Michelin star in recognition...