Tuesday, June 17, 2025

Dwight Nelson

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Adventist Culture

Dwight Nelson Enforcing PMC Social Distancing With Lightsaber

Berrien Springs, Mich. - Pioneer Memorial Church Senior Pastor and acclaimed swordsman Dwight Nelson has laid down the law for his congregation: Anyone that ignores PMC social distancing protocol...
Andrews University

Dwight Nelson Takes Over As ‘Jeopardy!’ Host

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. —- Pioneer Memorial Church Senior Pastor Dwight Nelson, confirmed today that he would be taking on a “sideline” as host of...
Dwight Nelson

Nelson’s salary slashed for suggesting shorter sermons in Adventism

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. --- One of the best known evangelists in Seventh-day Adventism has seen his salary slashed by 50 percent for suggesting that...
Dwight Nelson

Dwight Nelson declared missing person, last seen playing Pokémon GO

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. --- Police officials declared Pioneer Memorial Church Senior Pastor Dwight Nelson missing this morning. The well-known Adventist evangelist was last seen playing...
Doug Batchelor

Batchelor v Nelson Preach-Off scheduled for Batman v Superman opening night

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. --- The first-ever Preach-Off between veteran Adventist evangelists, Dwight Nelson and Doug Batchelor, has been scheduled to coincide with the March 25...
Andrews University

Yelp claims Dwight Nelson’s jokes are funnier by second service

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. --- Ratings and reviews company Yelp has begun allowing parishioners to grade their ministers on their performance in the pulpit. ...
Dwight Nelson

Dwight Nelson calls Donald Trump’s hair/presidential announcement “sign of the times”

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. --- Pioneer Memorial Church Senior Pastor Dr. Dwight K Nelson launched a scathing rebuke of real estate and entertainment mogul Donald...
Adventist Celebrities

Dwight Nelson gets star on Hollywood Walk of Fame

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. --- In a definite first for Adventist evangelists, Dr. Dwight K. Nelson is to receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of...

BarelyAdventist is a satire and humor blog focused on Adventist culture and issues. Written by committed Adventists, the goal is to foster growth within the faith community through lighthearted conversation and humor, avoiding soapboxing or angry rants. The blog is not officially endorsed by the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists.

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