Your Guide to Adventist Love Languages

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We Adventists have our own twist on the classic love languages. Get ready to decode the secrets of Adventist affection and discover how to make your special someone’s heart go “Hallelujah!”


1. Acts of Service: Folding Church Bulletins Like a Liturgical Origami Master

In the Adventist love language of acts of service, forget about mundane tasks—master the art of folding church bulletins with the precision of an origami ninja. Impress your beloved with your precision folding skills, proving that your love knows no bounds, even when it comes to paper.

2. Quality Time: Sabbath Strolls and Groan-Worthy Sabbath Puns

When it comes to quality time in Adventist relationships, strap on your walking shoes and get ready for some groan-worthy Sabbath puns. Nothing says “love” like subjecting your significant other to your punny sense of humor while strolling hand-in-hand through the woods identifying rare birds.

3. Words of Affirmation: Showering Compliments on Their “EGW-approved” Fashion Sense

In the Adventist love language of words of affirmation, it’s all about celebrating their “Ellen White-approved” fashion choices. Shower your beloved with compliments on their effortlessly modest, coordinated outfits, making them feel like the holiest fashion icon in the sanctuary. Who needs Milan when you’ve got Sabbath style?

4. Physical Touch: Perfecting the Art of the Adventist Side Hug

For Adventists fluent in the love language of physical touch, the side hug is a fine art to be mastered. Practice your technique, ensuring just the right amount of contact without crossing the invisible boundary of modesty. It’s the kind of hug that screams, “I’m holy, and not too clingy – especially in public.”

5. Gifts: Thoughtful Trinkets with an Adventist Twist

When it comes to the Adventist love language of gifts, it’s all about finding trinkets that celebrate unique Adventist quirks. From a custom-made “Uncle Arthur’s Bedtime Stories” merch collection to a hand-carved replica of Elmshaven, let your gifts reflect your Adventist identity with a dash of edgy humor.

6. Acts of Kindness: Offer Up the Best Spot in the Church Parking Lot.

Picture this: as your (highly attractive) Adventist partner arrives, blissfully unaware, you step forward, fueled by a mix of affection and parking prowess. With a mischievous grin, you navigate the sea of cars, strategically guiding your significant other to the most coveted spot. Ah, the lengths we’ll go for love, even if it means dishing out prime parking privileges.

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