9 Kinds of Adventist Bachelor

“Support the BarelyAdventist team by joining our Patreon community or leaving a PayPal tip - it means the world to us.”

You’re on the lookout for a suitable Adventist man. It helps to know your options. Here are a few that tend to bubble up:

Unmarried 40-something

These tend to be single for a reason, not a season. Proceed with caution. Ask around to find out why this guy is single and only agree to group dates at first.

Youth pastor

These guys can be popular. News of him dating ANYONE in church will spread like wildfire so make sure you vet him thoroughly first by attending the frisbee golf hangouts he organizes.

Doctor

Everyone is into these guys for all the wrong reasons. Be careful. Doctors don’t make what they used to.

Parents’ basement dweller

Pass.

Cat lover

Will he love his cat more than you? Probably. Sit one table away from him at potluck before you signal any interest.

Prophetic chart maker

Make sure he isn’t a date-setter before you going on any ACTUAL dates with this one.

Vegetarian gym rat

Exactly HOW much time does this guy spend in the gym? Fitness is nice but brains matter too.

Seminarian

This guy is under pressure to get married before he gets his first church. Don’t immediately write him off for this reason but do think through the whole future pastor’s wife thing.

Proof texteR
It’s great that he knows his Bible but you don’t want a biblical know-it-all. Check if he’s open to anyone else’s viewpoint before agreeing to any vespers dates with this type.

 


SPONSORED LINKS

You’ve had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.

.

(Visited 584 times, 1 visits today)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *