8 Adventist-Approved Pick-Up Lines That Are Guaranteed to Fail

Looking for love in all the wrong pews? Fear not, lovelorn Adventist! We’ve compiled a list of pick-up lines that are so bad, they’re almost good. Use these at your own risk: 1. “Hey, is your Read more […]

Pathfinder Department Bankrupt From All The Jetpack Honor Accident Lawsuits

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: SILVER SPRING, Md. — It is with heavy hearts that we announce the bankruptcy of the Pathfinder Department exactly one week after the unfortunate launch of our latest Read more […]

“Persecuted” Adventist really just a jerk

LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Although Bo Ludo has, for years, complained that he is being persecuted for his Adventist faith, a source with (painful) knowledge of his overall situation has confirmed Read more […]