Listen up, fellow BarelyAdventists. Is anyone else tired of the Adventist dating scene? The awkward silences at church functions? The endless stream of well-meaning but clueless setups? Yeah, me too. That’s why I propose a radical solution: The Adventist Singles Monastery.
Here’s the deal:
Instead of battling the odds in the dating pool, we create a haven for single Adventists. Think of it as a spiritual singles retreat, minus the forced activities and questionable flirting techniques.
The Benefits:
Guaranteed Sabbath observance: Nature walks will NEVER feature more than knee-deep wading.
Built-in community: Surround yourself with people who understand your values and (hopefully) your dating struggles.
Shared hobbies (maybe): Potlucks, choir practice, and lively theological debates (because what’s a monastery without a little intellectual sparring?).
Escape the pressure: Take the focus off finding a spouse and focus on your faith and personal growth.
It wouldn’t be all hymns and herbal tea, though. We could have:
Healthy living activities: Hiking, gardening, (dare I say?) a communal vegetable garden to fuel those potlucks.
Volunteer opportunities: Serve the community and maybe even meet some cute singles outside the Adventist bubble (gasp!).
Educational workshops: “How to navigate constant questions about your progress finding an Adventist spouse without losing your faith in humanity” (working title).
Now, before you start picturing us all in drab robes chanting Gregorian chants, hold on! This can be a modern monastery. Think comfy clothes, lively discussions, and maybe even a movie night (with popcorn that isn’t suspiciously beige).
Who knows, maybe love will blossom in this controlled environment. Or maybe we’ll just find a fantastic group of friends who share our faith and our struggles. Either way, it beats another awkward conversation about the weather at a church social.
So, what do you say? Are you ready to trade in your dating app for a prayer book and join the Adventist Singles Monastery? Let’s make this happen (and maybe get some divine intervention on the love life front while we’re at it).
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