Local Adventist Congratulates Himself on Not Coveting His Neighbor’s Ox

While exhibiting numerous other spiritual shortcomings on a daily basis, local Adventist Blake Hemsley reportedly patted himself on the back this week for successfully not coveting his neighbor Read more […]

Literalist Men’s Retreat Ends With Everyone’s Eyes Plucked Out

The “Blind Faith” Men’s Retreat ended today with an entirely eye-less crowd of men trying to find their way out of an auditorium. Speakers at the retreat had advocated a stridently literal Read more […]