Last Generation Theologian Frustrated He’s Only 99% Perfect


BUTTONED UP, Tenn. — Last Generation theologian, Solo Opera, took a break from his prophetic timeline charts this afternoon, to take a 30-minute standardized holiness test.

Opera was hugely dismayed at the end to find out that though he’d scored perfectly in Spirit of Prophecy compilation, doomsday articulation, orienteering theory, fundamental belief generation and soap carving, he answered a Glacier View trivia question incorrectly, resulting in a 99% score.

So close yet so far away from victory, Opera resolved to do better next time and win faith’s fight squarely on his own merits.


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