Billion-Copy Great Controversy Distribution Now Happening Via Email Due to Soaring Printing Costs

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Change of plans: ballooning inflation has meant that the printing of the billion Great Controversy copies that were supposed to be distributed across the globe, has been scrapped Read more […]

Musk Backs Out of Twitter Deal After Discovering Church Lobbies Much Better for Spreading Gossip

BOCA CHICA, Texas — Billionaire Elon Musk has backed out of his commitment to buy social media platform Twitter after discovering that a far better way to share gossip has existed for decades. “Turns Read more […]

Adventist Walk of Shame: Leaving Potluck With Untouched Dish

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — According to the Andrews University Dietetics Department, the greatest source of shame in the Adventist experience is the prospect of leaving a potluck with a dish you Read more […]