Southern Adventist University Fining Students For Coffee Breath

Collegedale, Tenn. – Always on the forefront of Adventist student regulation, Southern Adventist University announced today it has started fining students for coffee breath. Any student accused Read more […]

Church Leadership Vows Not To Give Up Positions As Easily As Trump Let Go Of His

SILVER SPRING, Md. – General Conference leaders along with their regional counterparts around the world have released a joint statement expressing disappointment at how little of a fight they Read more […]

Boris Johnson Commits To Taking Christian Grooming And Manners Pathfinder Honor

LONDON, UK – In response to political pressure to sort out his hair, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson has committed to taking radical action in 2021. Standing at a podium, with hair completely Read more […]

Adventist Prays Little Debbie Treat Will Nourish And Strengthen His Body

Chattanooga, Tenn. – Dying to rip open a box of Little Debbie Nutty Buddy treats, local Pathfinder counselor Patch Aittems paused briefly to say grace, asking for the sugar bomb to nourish and Read more […]