GC: Adventist Coffee Tables Must Be Renamed Hot Chocolate Tables

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference has declared a radical rebranding of every Adventist coffee table across the globe. Say goodbye to those nefarious furniture pieces, because, starting Read more […]

Adventist Camp Meeting Reports “Tremendous Revival” After Accidentally Serving Real Coffee

SLEEPY HOLLOW, Colo. — A Rocky Mountain Conference camp meeting reported a “tremendous revival” today with crowds of Adventist talking, singing and preaching excitedly at an energy level never Read more […]

Starbucks founder hears Adventist health message, says chain will go completely decaf

SEATTLE, Wash. — Starbucks founder and CEO Howard Schultz has announced that the worldwide coffee shop chain will only serve decaffeinated beverages, effective immediately. The founder confessed Read more […]