Adventist Man Accidentally Drinks Caffeinated Tea, Immediately Grows Tail

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John Smith found himself in a hairy situation after accidentally sipping on a cup of caffeinated tea at a community event.

The drama unfolded at a neighborhood gathering at Snoozeville SDA, where an unsuspecting volunteer, clearly not up to speed on Adventist beverage protocols, placed a pot of caffeinated tea right next to the decaf options.

“I was just having a casual chat and grabbed what I thought was my usual herbal tea,” John recounted, still visibly shaken. “Next thing I know, there’s this weird tingling in my lower back. I thought, ‘Oh no, this can’t be good.'”

Eyewitnesses describe the scene as something out of a bizarre sci-fi movie. Within minutes, John was bouncing off the walls with the energy of a hyperactive toddler on a sugar high. And then, the pièce de résistance: a small, furry tail began to sprout from his lower back.

“I couldn’t believe my eyes,” said Mary, a fellow church member who was present. “One moment he’s fine, the next he’s channeling his inner squirrel. I mean, really, who knew caffeine could do that?”

Local health experts are scratching their heads over the incident. Dr. Emily Green, a nutritionist at the church, commented, “While caffeine can have various effects on the body, growing a tail is definitely not one of them. This has to be some kind of extreme allergic reaction or, more likely, a very elaborate prank.”

Despite the initial shock, John is taking his newfound appendage in stride. “I guess this is a sign that I should stick to my chamomile,” he quipped. “At least now I have a tail to tell at the next potluck. Pun absolutely intended.”


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