Saturday, May 17, 2025

Sevvy

GC Announces Tithe Transparency App With Leaderboard and Shame Notifications

In a move to “build trust and accountability,” the Adventist Church has unveiled its latest digital innovation: the Tithe Transparency App, now featuring real-time...

GC Warns First American Pope to Move Super Bowl Sunday to Saturday so Adventists Can’t Watch

The General Conference has warned that Pope Leo XIV, the first American pope, is allegedly plotting to shift Super Bowl Sunday to Saturday as...

Loma Linda Adventists Greatly Disappointed: “Cloud the Size of a Hand” Just LA Smog

LOMA LINDA, CA – Excitement swept through the Loma Linda Adventist community yesterday as word spread of a mysterious “cloud the size of a...

9 Signs We Are Experiencing The Shaking

Adventist conspiracy theorists are on high alert, scanning the horizon for signs of “The Shaking”—that end-time sifting where the true remnant will rise and...

Next Pope to be Chosen at GC Session

VATICAN CITY/ST. LOUIS — The General Conference has announced that the next pope will be elected at the upcoming GC Session in St. Louis...

New Union Created for Anti-Vaxxers: NAD Announces PureBlood Union Conference

COLUMBIA, Md. – In a move that has raised eyebrows and lowered vaccination rates, the North American Division (NAD) of Seventh-day Adventists has unveiled...

Tariff-Induced Market Crash Leaves Adventists Banking on Eternity

SILVER SPRING, MD — A record number of Seventh-day Adventists are proclaiming that their true riches are in heaven following a catastrophic crash in...

GC Slaps 49% Tithe Hike On Pro-Women’s Ordination Regions

SILVER SPRING, Md.– In a move that’s got Adventists worldwide clutching their wallets, the General Conference (GC) announced a jaw-dropping tithe hike this week,...

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