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GC Announces Tithe Transparency App With Leaderboard and Shame Notifications
In a move to “build trust and accountability,” the Adventist Church has unveiled its latest digital innovation: the Tithe Transparency App, now featuring real-time...
Catholics
GC Warns First American Pope to Move Super Bowl Sunday to Saturday so Adventists Can’t Watch
The General Conference has warned that Pope Leo XIV, the first American pope, is allegedly plotting to shift Super Bowl Sunday to Saturday as...
Second Coming
Loma Linda Adventists Greatly Disappointed: “Cloud the Size of a Hand” Just LA Smog
LOMA LINDA, CA – Excitement swept through the Loma Linda Adventist community yesterday as word spread of a mysterious “cloud the size of a...
End Times
9 Signs We Are Experiencing The Shaking
Adventist conspiracy theorists are on high alert, scanning the horizon for signs of “The Shaking”—that end-time sifting where the true remnant will rise and...
General Conference
Next Pope to be Chosen at GC Session
VATICAN CITY/ST. LOUIS — The General Conference has announced that the next pope will be elected at the upcoming GC Session in St. Louis...
North American Division
New Union Created for Anti-Vaxxers: NAD Announces PureBlood Union Conference
COLUMBIA, Md. – In a move that has raised eyebrows and lowered vaccination rates, the North American Division (NAD) of Seventh-day Adventists has unveiled...
Trump
Tariff-Induced Market Crash Leaves Adventists Banking on Eternity
SILVER SPRING, MD — A record number of Seventh-day Adventists are proclaiming that their true riches are in heaven following a catastrophic crash in...
Women's ordination
GC Slaps 49% Tithe Hike On Pro-Women’s Ordination Regions
SILVER SPRING, Md.– In a move that’s got Adventists worldwide clutching their wallets, the General Conference (GC) announced a jaw-dropping tithe hike this week,...
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