In a groundbreaking move that has sent shockwaves through the Adventist community, the First Seventh-day Adventist Church of Chargewell has reported record-breaking attendance after installing Read more […]
Pastor John Longwind’s sermon on the virtue of patience was cut short by his increasingly restless congregation at the “Tarry-a-While Seventh-day Adventist Church.” The sermon, aptly titled “Waiting Read more […]
In a bold move following England’s heartbreaking loss to Spain in the Euro 2024 final, Newbold College of Higher Education has announced an addition to its theology curriculum: “THEO 301: Coping Read more […]
Researchers at Loma Linda University’s School of Public Health have unveiled a new vegan substitute so convincing that even die-hard vegans are questioning their life choices. Dr. Mia Plantlover, Read more […]
In a surprising turn of events, a new board game called “Sabbath Loopholes” has taken the Adventist world by storm, selling out in record time at ABC stores across the globe. The game challenges Read more […]
In a display of pre-Sabbath gymnastics that would make even Ellen White raise an eyebrow, local Adventist John Doe has set a new personal record by showering, shaving, and changing in just 2.5 minutes Read more […]
Looking for love in all the wrong pews? Fear not, lovelorn Adventist! We’ve compiled a list of pick-up lines that are so bad, they’re almost good. Use these at your own risk: 1. “Hey, is your Read more […]
The “Zion’s Outpost” Adventist Book Center (ABC) has been caught red-handed selling copies of Dan Brown’s controversial bestseller “The Da Vinci Code” – cleverly disguised in plain brown wrappers. Store Read more […]
What started as a routine Wednesday night Bible study at Hairsplit Seventh-day Adventist church quickly spiraled into an intense theological debate when someone innocently asked, “So, what do you Read more […]
WEST FRANKFORT, IL – Local Adventist father, Bob Wellman, has declared that this year’s family vacation to the 3ABN studios will be “just as fun, if not more so” than a trip to Disney World, much Read more […]
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