Tower of Babel Completed Thanks To Stirring Rendition of “Love in Any Language”

TODAY in Ancient Mesopotamia — Builders that had been slaving away at the tower of Babel hit what could generously be described as a “communication snag” earlier in the morning when they discovered Read more […]

Epcot Center Visits Now Count As Overseas Mission

SILVER SPRING, Md. — GC Missions strategists have confirmed that visits to Orlando’s Epcot Center satisfy all the requirements for overseas mission as the place has a “super international feel Read more […]

Adventists required to provide hints regarding nature of unspoken prayer requests

Adventist World — Adventists making unspoken prayer requests will now be required to provide hints as to the nature of these mysterious petitions to the curious crowd around them. Whether on Read more […]

Life-Saving Grape Surgery Performed at Loma Linda

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — A critically injured grape was rushed to Loma Linda University Medical Center this afternoon after a terrible fall from a local kitchen counter. Already dangerously close Read more […]

Adventist liberal passionate about open-mindedness as long as it doesn’t challenge his opinions

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Adventist Liberal Max Chellin has spent much of today in full-on productivity mode, mouthing off in all caps online about the extreme narrow-mindedness of conservatives Read more […]