Adventist Bible Case Automatically Climbs to Top of Every Pile

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OXFORD, England — A group of Adventist inventors has created a Bible case that automatically rises to the top of any pile. The new case, called the “Ascend & Defend Bible Case,” is made of a special material that can detect when it is buried under other objects and immediately rises to the top.

According to the developers, the Ascend & Defend Bible Case was designed to solve the problem of Adventists accidentally placing other objects on top of their Bibles. “We know how important it is to keep the Bible sacred, and we wanted to create a product that would help Adventists maintain that tradition,” said one of the inventors.

The Ascend & Defend Bible Case works by utilizing a unique mechanism that senses when the case is being covered and immediately deploys an internal mechanism to lift the case to the top of the pile. The mechanism is so powerful that it can even lift heavy objects like textbooks, laptops and hard copies of The Great Controversy.

“This case is perfect for Adventists who are serious about keeping the Bible on top,” said one satisfied customer. “I never have to worry about accidentally putting something on top of my Bible again.”

However, some Adventists are skeptical about the new invention. Critics have argued that the case takes the tradition too far and that it’s unnecessary. “It’s just a gimmick,” said one skeptic. “Adventists have been keeping the Bible on top for years without any gadgets or gizmos.”

Despite the criticism, the developers of the Ascend & Defend Bible Case are confident that it will be a hit. They have already started accepting pre-orders for the case, with some Adventists even suggesting that possession of a Ascend & Defend Bible Case could become a prerequisite for admittance to group Bible studies.



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