ST. LOUIS, Mo.— General Conference Session delegates are gearing up to vote on an issue that threatens to divide the denomination: the chips used in haystacks. Delegates are choosing between Read more […]
ST. LOUIS, Mo. — In remarks immediately following news of his re-election to a third term as General Conference President, Ted Wilson changed the 2022 GC Session theme song from “There is Read more […]
ST. LOUIS, Mo. — For the first time in history, a female has been elected president of the General Conference. Little Debbie won the position by a landslide vote of nominating committee Read more […]
COLD SNAP, Mich. — Pastor Des Tibbitts of Cold Snap SDA is out of a job after preaching a sermon on “Contagious Faith” to a dumbfounded congregation last Sabbath. Eyewitnesses from last Read more […]
SILVER SRING, Md. — In anticipation of a sparsely-attended General Conference Session this summer, church leadership has changed its I Will Go strategic plan slogan to something more feasible: Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference leadership of the church has warned members not to plan on booking an Uber to escape to the wilderness in the Time of Trouble. “Not only will Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD — In a bid to revive flagging offering tallies, Church leaders have banned bathroom breaks during offering appeals and collections. “It seems Adventist bladders always fill Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD — The wait will soon be over for Walter Veith fans that need clarity on the approximate date of Christ’s Second Coming. The internet ministry personality promises to reveal Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD — Skyrocketing gas and oil prices are forcing people to look at alternative sources of energy to heat their homes. Energy researchers say Adventists are incredibly fortunate Read more […]
BOCA CHICA, Texas — The world’s richest man has recently taken an interest in the Adventist Church. Elon Musk became fascinated with the denomination after watching The Record Keeper, a Read more […]
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