LANSING, Mich. — “Former criminals make amazing pastors,” said Michigan Conference spokesman Dan Giligan this week as the conference launched a 5-year recruitment effort focused on ex-cons.
Giligan announced that the conference had decided on a slogan for the recruitment campaign : “A Con in Every Church.” He explained that “former criminals have far better back stories” than your average seminary student.
“Put yourself in our shoes,” said Giligan. “Would you rather hire some wet-behind-the-ears new pastor whose best repentance story is a resolution to lay off Twinkies or do you want someone that can tell awesome tales of pre-conversion car chases? It’s a no-brainer.”
Giligan called on Adventist ex-felons across North America to consider applying to the Michigan Conference for a scholarship fund set aside for ex-cons with a passion for ministry. “If you can provide documentation of a criminal conviction, we will pay for seminary, no questions asked,” said Giligan.
To pre-empt a flood of inquiries from ineligible scholarship applicants, Giligan stressed that minor infractions like speeding tickets do not qualify aspiring seminary students for funding from the Michigan Conference. “Don’t bother applying unless you have at least been busted for shop lifting,” said Giligan.