Angry Adventist Birds game released to crush women’s ordination

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SILVER SPRING, Md. — By far the boldest Adventist venture into gaming so far, Angry Adventist Birds was launch today by General Conference developers. Released both for Apple and Android, the game allows players to catapult incensed-looking animated birds at various structures emblazoned with the face of key female ordination supporters.

As players progress through various levels, the difficulty of crushing their ideological opponents’ “bankrupt theology structures” gets progressively harder.

Pesky structural hurdles like protective walls representing “questionable additional light,” “absolutely anything uttered by the Pacific Union,” or “actual biblical scholarship” are sure to frustrate players as they attempt to pass on to new battlefields.

For especially challenged players that prefer to win a guaranteed level victory from Super Ted, a quick $.99 in-app purchase will give players guaranteed heavy-weight advantage.

All game proceeds go to Amazing Facts television ministries.

Special thanks to Dan McLeod for the story idea

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  1. Funny, but almost true. There are a lot of “angry birds” out there trying to crush the biblical scholarship of women’s ordination. It’s almost comical to see their angry rants on social media. Even saw where one vicious opponent of women’s ordination resorted to language that would make a sailor blush and cursed out a theology professor. “By their fruits ye shall know them . . . .”

  2. Graeme Sharrock

    The truest phrase surely was that the game gets “progressively harder”.
    Was this a slip of the (middle) finger, or are the church’s progressives able to win ?

  3. I think it is funny and pathetic that the leadership of the world wide church is so afraid of dialogue and change. Fact is God is bigger and wiser..He will enlighten the church and those who choose to close their eyes and and ears …just proves how stuck the leadership is and how hard they will fight to stay that way.

  4. Ray Kraft

    Some guy about whom we really know very little wrote a book that says women shouldn’t be ministers, and 2,000 years later we’re still slavishly hangin’ on to that opinion as if ordinating a WOMAN of all the cockeyed things will turn the world upside down.

    If we have to take everything in the Bible so literally, why don’t we do all the blood sacrifices Leviticus tells us to do?

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