LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Barbie (a third generation Adventist in case you didn’t know) announced minutes ago on Instagram that she and her praise band guitarist boyfriend, Ken, have bought their tickets for the “mission trip beach adventure of a lifetime” to the Dominican Republic. The couple will spend a half-day posting social media coverage of themselves laying the same brick on a church build somewhere super close to the five-star all-inclusive resort they will be staying at. The rest of the time will be occupied by “prayerful” zip lining and “blessed” jet ski adventures to random lagoons where they will be silent witnesses to scuba instructors.
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